The social psychology Theory of Reciprocity is based on the belief that ‘if you scratch my back I will scratch yours’. When applying this to couples in the bedroom, it would be assumed that the pleasure of giving and receiving would be fully reciprocated. However time pressure according to Australian Institute of family studies www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/links/trendsstats.html appears to be a major issue for couples trying to get time to enjoying each other’s company. Men are effected 80% of the time trying to balance work, children, family commitments as well as trying to put time aside for a relationship, while for women it’s 84%. So do things get better as we age ?  According to a recent US poll www.lifegoesstrong.com/sex-poll of 45-65 year olds, they were dissatisfied with their sex lives, 61% of men believing it is a critical part of a healthy relationship while 47% of women believed the same.

The imbalance may reflect the idea of reciprocity, and that if you stop receiving, you stop giving. So perhaps its time to go back to basics and be generous of spirit towards yourself and your partner. I remember a dear friend of mine Annie Sprinkle saying “ As I receive pleasure so the whole universe receives pleasure through me” and I would like to include “ As I give and receive pleasure so the whole universe receives pleasure through me”.

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