I often have female clients see me about orgasmic difficulties and thought I would pass on some of the understanding I have gleaned over the years. For women to have an orgasm requires them to relax and focus on the sensations of sensual energy as it builds up, rather than focusing on thoughts. If women have thoughts like “ is it going to happen this time ? ” “ Am I doing things right, is my parter enjoying themselves ? ” it is  be very difficult for her to connect to the sensations in her body. This is because thoughts intrude on body sensations and unfortunately stop sexual sensations as they build up. I have found hypnotherapy can be helpful by asking the woman to imagine what it would be like to trust her body and relaxing into the sensations. The breath is another important factor because taking deep breaths enhances sensation especially as the woman becomes aroused ( which can take about 20 minutes). When she reaches orgasm she will hold her breath for a few seconds and this enables the tingling sensations that have built up to stream through the body. In my book Self-sexual Healing I go through exercises including breathing techniques that I have found very beneficial in helping my clients. I have spoken to many women who have never had an orgasm until they used a vibrator, so this many be another option.

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